No one looks forward to discussing elder care and finances with their aging parents or other family members, but families must have this conversation. Here, we will review some tips to navigate this discussion and discuss how to create a successful caregiving plan.
For many of us, our parents were the “home base” of responsible adults who cared for us. We didn’t have to know what or whether they ate their dinner or how much money they brought in the month. Statistics show that over 65 million people (29%) of the US population give care to chronically ill, disabled, or elderly family members/friends. Given the trend of growing life expectancies and the overall aging of our population, we expect these numbers to grow.
Age can leave its mark on individuals in many different ways. Some of us may deal with struggles with hearing and vision. Or we may have issues with memory and problems with dementia. Whatever age brings to ourselves and our loved ones, a clear caregiver plan is essential to avoid future crises. Additionally, discussing and creating these plans while you and your loved one have not begun to decline will ensure everyone’s real wishes are honored as much as possible.
Make This a Group Effort
Caregiving is not optimal if all of the responsibility is with one person. Optimally, there is a team approach to caregiving, spreading skills and tasks across several individuals. That said, it is helpful to have someone who may be serving as the primary caregiver as the leader of the discussion.
If dynamics among siblings are complicated, there can be efforts to get individual views and what each sibling is or isn’t able to contribute towards the caregiving process. In the end, the wishes of the elder parent or family member should be honored as much as possible.
Prepare Effectively
Consider how to structure this process and find what will work best for your family. This conversation doesn’t have to happen as one event. The discussions can happen over a more extended period, allowing for researching options and gathering different points of view toward a successful outcome.
If your parent or family member in need of care may be defensive, brainstorming with individual family members before a meeting is a good idea to use your time most effectively and streamline the topics you feel will be most well received. Otherwise, scheduling to meet with everyone present is a good idea.
A key to a successful meeting is being prepared and researching. Look at what options are available for in-home and residential care. Your family members may be thinking of handling the caretaking yourselves, but it’s always wise to see what supplemental care options are available as stop-gaps in case of emergencies.
Components Of A Caregiving Plan
A caregiving plan should possess these specific categories to best cover the required spectrum of care.
- Legal. While it may be an uncomfortable conversation, it’s essential to have decisions made and documents signed by your parents or other elderly family while they are still of sound mind to do so. Two important legal documents are a health care agent and a power of attorney. These documents will allow care recipients to select someone to decide on their medical care if they become incapacitated. Also very vital is a solid estate plan. Again, this is a potentially sticky subject. Your elder loved ones should ensure they have an up-to-date will and beneficiaries on accounts aligned with their wishes. Otherwise, assets would have to go through probate and be divided by probate laws.
- Medical. Collect current health insurance policies and include any information related to Medicare or long-term care policies.
- Finances. Have an open and honest conversation about income, expenses, and any assets or liabilities. It would be a good idea to find out who they may use for their financial professional and obtain their contact information. You may have to take over paying bills for those requiring caregiving since keeping track of the ins and outs of accounts can become a challenge. Additionally, Educating yourself and those receiving care on the threats of fraud toward older adults is prudent. Targeting those vulnerable to scams through phone calls, mail, and the internet is prevalent.
- Personal. It’s important to remember that this meeting is about those receiving care and the best path to help. Asking what the care recipients’ preferences are, including where they want to live and end-of-life wishes, are included in these discussions. If possible, help those receiving care to write these preferences down so they can be shareable among caregivers. Staying positive is crucial, reminding those receiving care that this is a team effort and that their wishes and desires are essential to their caregiving plan. This discussion is also an excellent time to list online accounts and passwords and identify and record the location of important paper documents.
If resistance to this topic arises from those requiring care, do your best to respond with gentle understanding. Aging and all that comes with it can be tricky, but if you approach this time of life as what it is, a normal part of the progression of life, fear and trepidation may be minimized, and you can create a successful caregiving plan
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